It’s hard to be funny when you’re saying goodbye. Farewells just aren’t inherently amusing. I mean, there’s a reason Shakespeare didn’t pen a line like “Parting is such wicked awesome hilarity.”
So this leaves me in a bit of a pickle. I’m saying goodbye to the Ballz blog today. I’d like my last post to be funny or, at the very least, mildly smirk-worthy. But I just don’t think I have it in me. And since there’s nothing worse than forced attempts at humor, I’ll just slip off into the ether with a few thank yous and call it a day.
First and foremost, I’d like to thank my editor, Keith Plocek, for giving me this opportunity in the first place. He put up with my paranoia and psychoses better than anyone not named my mom. As an added bonus, if I ever needed to track down a picture of a naked Bea Arthur, I knew the precise person to call. We should all be so lucky.
I also have to thank my Ballz cohort John Royal for being the perfect foil for me on this site. He writes prolifically, while I’m lucky if I can squeeze out two columns per week. He wears his emotions on his sleeve, I keep mine buried in places Freud never even dreamed of. But more than anything, JR’s hatred of Jose de Jesus Ortiz never ceases to make me smile. Every time I imagine their inevitable encounter it puts an extra hop in my step. Please, God, I don’t ask for much, so do me a favor and grant me this one wish: Make sure there are cameras rolling when JR and JJO cross paths. I have a feeling it will put Chacon vs. Wade to shame.
Thanks to Liston for his ridiculous Shane Battier comments and over-the-top Spurs love. We’re sworn enemies now, but if I learned anything from the steaming pile of dung that was Unbreakable, it’s that having an arch-nemesis in your life isn’t such a bad thing after all.
Finally, thanks to everyone who stopped by and took the time to read my stuff (in other words, thanks mom and dad!). It’s been a blast and an honor. Hopefully you guys derived at least half as much enjoyment from all this as I did. Keep in touch. I’m pretty easy to find.
Buen camino. - Jason Friedman
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