Comedian Damon Wayans once said, "I have a friend in jail for something he didn't do. He didn't run fast enough." But the reality is so many criminals get busted not for an inability to escape, but because they do really stupid things.
Take the case of Jason Hales, a convicted sex offender living in Dickinson. Hales, 36, was being investigated by the authorities because it was discovered he was living in a residence and had not registered, which is required of all sex offenders.
Okay, here's your first mistake, Jason. If you are on probation and don't want to go back to jail, you might want to comply with the terms of your parole. This is particularly important if you are planning another kind of criminal enterprise like, oh, I don't know, growing weed.
According to a report from KTRK-TV, Dickinson police executed a search warrant at Hales's home in the 3000 block of Crest Drive. What they found when they got there was a little more than a simple parole violation. Apparently, Hales had a "elaborate indoor marijuana grow operation" inside a hidden room with 15 plants and 10 seedlings.
I mean, bravo on the initiative, I guess? But, if you are going to go from sex offender to pot dealer, you might want to be as good a little boy as possible when it comes to your parole officer or they will, you know, bust you again.
Brandi Hales, 34, was also arrested and charged with felony possession of marijuana. Jason got the same charge plus failure to comply with sex offender registration, which is what landed him in this mess in the first place. Way to go, man. Way to go.
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.