No, I'm serious.
This isn't one of those Chuck Norris deals. I'm not going to make a bunch of wisecracks about how Superman wears J.J. Watt pajamas or how the Boogeyman looks under his bed for J.J. Watt or how the dark is afraid of J.J. Watt. All true statements, probably, but that's not my intent.
The headline of this brief post is indeed a factual account of a J.J. Watt workout. Don't believe me? Well, perhaps you'll believe the Instagram account of one Justin James Watt.
Yeah, I know that the four or five times a year that I work out, it comes down to a choice for cool-down exercises -- either flip 1,000-pound tires a couple dozen times or violently puke my guts out before replenishing my nutrients with a meatball sub or something.
always I opt for the meatball sub. J.J. Watt chooses to flip 1,000-pound tires. To each his own.
Honestly, my favorite part of this video (other than "THANK GOD HE'S ON THE HOUSTON TEXANS!!") is the dudes cooling down in the area around J.J. by doing the casual "walking toe touch" deal. It's like they plunked down a saber-toothed tiger in the middle of a litter of alley cats.
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My biggest takeaway from this brief video? Clearly, J.J. Watt heard D.J. Swearinger's claim that Jadeveon Clowney is two tenths of a second faster than J.J. in the 40-yard dash, and dude is pissed. Nice work, Swearinger.
Oh, also, Jadeveon Clowney, in case you're watching this -- you know how Texans fans are rationalizing the possible selection of you by saying, "Hey, his work ethic will improve by just being around J.J. Watt!"? Yeah, that's the guy in this video.
Better go find some heavy machinery to start moving as your cool-down, big fella.