Joel Osteen Teams Up With Guns N Roses To Rock Your Face Off

Lakewood Church mega-guru Joel Osteen is working with Guns N Roses, you may be surprised to learn.

He's offering to throw in a DVD of Become A Better You with every copy of Chinese Democracy if Axl Rose "could just get the goddamned thing released," the Houston pastor said.

Actually, he didn't. But Osteen is on the same side as the group -- and NASCAR, and the Dixie Chicks, and rival megacurch pastor Rick Warren -- in a fight against the Federal Communications Commission.

Osteen and the rest are pissed that the FCC is considering allowing use of the so-called "white spaces" of the airwaves. Those spaces are unused now, and wireless companies are eager to control them.

That doesn't sit well with Osteen.

In a recent letter to the FCC, the preacher says use of the white spaces will wreak havoc on the church's worship services, which rely heavily on wireless mikes and other space-age technology.

"[T]the Commission will cause immeasurable damage to our ability to minister," Osteen said in the letter. Wireless mikes are essential for the extravaganza that is a Lakewood service, Osteen says in so many words.

It all brings to mind Spinal Tap's aborted attempt to rock "Sex Farm" at Lindbergh Air Force Base.

Which would be great to see, actually, in between Osteen's calls for Jesus to make everybody rich.

-- Richard Connelly

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