In honor of the New Year, I thought I would go the cliché route and give you my Ten Resolutions for 2009.
10. I'm going to continue to be as objective as I can when it comes to my coverage of Houston sports.
9. I'm going to find some way to get the Houston Press to pay for my MLB Extra Innings package.
8. And despite what everyone tells me about soccer, I'm going to continue to find it the one sure cure for insomnia.
7. I want to make Carrie Milbank a national name.
6. I'm going to continue to mock anyone who thinks the Astros have any chance of making the playoffs.
5. I need to find some way to get my own radio talk show. I can't be any worse than some of the others on the air.
4. I'm going to continue to mock the Chron for its ass-kissing coverage of Houston's pro sports teams.
3. I'm going to find some way to get the Houston Press to send me to Vegas - and to pay the air fare and the hotel and various other expenses - for the opening four days of March Madness.
2. I'm going to make all of you like me, really like me.
1. I'm going to get cracking and write my novel which should be a mixture of Elmore Leonard, John Grisham, and Carl Hiaasen...oh, who am I kidding? I stand a better chance of hooking up with Zooey Deschanel. Which is to say, I stand no chance.
-- John Royal