In honor of my going 7-9 with last week’s NFL picks, I thought that I’d give it another try. (By the way, if I were the President, I’d declare that an overwhelming victory and claim a mandate to run the Press.)
Once again, this is for sporting purposes only, no betting is to be encouraged. And as with last week, I’m basing this on the point spread from the office pool I received from my New York office yesterday afternoon.
Yeah, the Texans beat up on the Chiefs last week. But the Panthers beat up on the Rams, and the Rams are a team with a real QB, a real running back, and two all-pro wide receivers (with one apotential Hall-of-Famer
). And I’ve got to confess, I was never the world’s biggest David Carr fan, but the people of Houston really gave him the shaft, so I’d like nothing better than for him to get a little revenge, even if it is tossing a TD pass with the game way out of reach. Take the Panthers by double digits.
2. The Cowboy’s are journeying to Miami where they’re favored by 3.5 over the Dolphins. I don’t think the Cowboys will repeat last Sunday’s performance, but the Redskins beat the Dolphins by 3, and the Cowboys are a lot better than the Redskins. So I’m taking the Cowboys to beat the Dolphins and the spread.
3. The Giants are playing the Packers in Jimmy Hoffa’s burial site. The Giants are favored by a point. Eli Manning looked a little like his big brother last week. Brett Favre looked old. I’m taking the Giants.
4. The Ravens are favored by 7 over the Jets. I don’t think the Ravens are going to need to rip off New York’s defensive signs to beat the Jets, but I don’t have any confidence in the Ravens’ offensive prowess, so while the Ravens will win, it won’t be by seven. Take the Jets.
5. The Steelers are favored by 9.5 points over the Bills. I know that this game is in Pittsburgh, but didn’t anybody see how the Bills shut down the high-powered Bronco offense last week? Take the Bills.
6. The Bengals are favored by 7 over the Browns. Only seven? The Browns are so bad that not only have they already benched their opening day starting QB, they’ve already traded him. Brady Quinn’s filed for an exemption to go back to college. And the Bengals offense is better than Pittsburgh’s. Take the Bengals.
7. The Colts are favored by 7 over the Titans. Sure, the game’s in Nashville. And sure the Titans ran roughshod over the vaunted Jacksonville defense last week. But didn’t anybody see what the Colts did to the Saints last week? Take the Colts.
8. The Rams are favored by 4 over the visiting 49ers. I don’t see the Rams repeating their crappy performance from last week. And I do think the 49ers will repeat their crappy performance from last week. Take the Rams.
9. The Jaguars are favored by 10.5 points over the Falcons. I don’t like to take a favorite when the point spread is in double digits. Especially after the Jags looked like the Texans, circa 2004, last week. Still, the Joey Harrington’s the QB for Falcons. But I just can’t do it. Take the Falcons and the points.
10. The Saints are favored by 3 over the Bucs. The Bucs don’t have an offense. Take the Saints.
11. The Lions are favored by 3 over the visiting Vikings. The Vikings don’t have a legit QB. The Lions have Jon Kitna, so they don’t either. But the Vikings do have Adrian Peterson. Take the Vikings.
12. The Seahawks travel to Arizona where they are favored by 3 over the Cardinals. Here’s the deal, I think the Cards are better than they played Monday night. I don’t think the Seahawks are as good as they were against the Bucs. And hey, we know that Matt Leinart’s able to connect on some of his passes. Take the Cardinals.
13. The Broncos, playing in Denver, are favored by 9.5 over the Raiders. The Raiders suck. And the Broncos want to show everyone that they’re better than they showed in the game against the Bills. But just to piss off my Broncos-loving brother, I’m taking the Raiders.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
14. The Bears are favored by 11.5 over the Chiefs. Here’s the thing, the Chiefs stink. But the Bears are quarterbacked by Rex Grossman and they traded their best running back to the Jets. Take the Chiefs and the points (the Chiefs aren’t going to win, but the Bears aren’t good enough to win by 11.5).
15. The home team Patriots are favored by 3.5 over the San Diego Chargers. I’m pretty sure that the only people allowed to have cameras on these sidelines are going to have CBS and NFL logos plastered all over their bodies. Bill Belichick’s going to actually have to coach since he’s not going to be able to steal signals. Hey, Bill, here’s a little tip, watch out for Tomlinson and that halfback pass. Here’s the deal, I’m not a fan of Norv Turner as a head coach, but I don’t like the Hoodie as a person. I’m taking the Chargers to win.
16. The Eagles are favored by 7 over the Politically Incorrects. I would take the Eagles, however, the Eagles looked like crap against the Packers, and I think the Redskins are better than the Packers. Take the Redskins.
Once again, these picks are just for sport. Don’t go betting the farm. Unless you win big, then I want a cut. – John Royal