Last week I started a new feature, my NFL Power Rankings. So here’s Week Two.
1. Dallas Cowboys (2-0): The defense let down a bit against the Philadelphia Eagles, but the offense was on fire. Last week, number 1.
2. Carolina Panthers (2-0): Have beaten two very good defensive clubs this season. Jake Delhomme appears to be healthy. And when he’s healthy, the team is generally good. Last week, number 4.
3. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-0): Struggled in bad weather to beat the Cleveland Browns in Cleveland. If only they could play the Texans every week. Last week, number 2.
4. New York Giants (2-0): The St. Louis Rams didn’t stand chance last week. Is Eli Manning really this good, or is it just the competition? Last week, number 10.
5. New England Patriots (2-0): Brady? Tom Brady? Who needs Tom Brady? The Patriots sure didn’t need him against the New York Jets last week. Last week, number 6.
6. Green Bay Packers (2-0): Favre? Who in the hell is Brett Favre? A few more weeks like last week, and Aaron Rodgers will make it seem like Brett Favre never existed. Last week, number 7.
7. Denver Broncos (2-0): Got off to a good start against the Chargers last week, then needed help from the officials to get the win. Last week, number 7.
8. Buffalo Bills (2-0): Are the Bills a fluke? Trent Edwards is the QB after all. Still, the Bills have looked good. Last week, number 11.
9. Tennessee Titans (2-0): The Vince Young saga didn’t hurt the Titans any last week. And things seem a lot smoother under Kerry Collins. Last week, number 15.
10. Arizona Cardinals (2-0): Two wins in a row. I think it’s about to start snowing in Phoenix. Last week, number 14.
11. Baltimore Ravens (1-0): Got the early bye week because of Ike. They’ll beat up on the Texans come November. Last week, number 12.
12. Philadelphia Eagles (1-1): They could have, should have, beat the Cowboys last on Monday. Last week, number 3.
13. Indianapolis Colts (1-1): Peyton is being outplayed by his brother. The Colts struggle against the Minnesota Vikings last week. Last week, number 21.
14. Chicago Bears (1-1): Some day the Bears will have an offense. Last week, number 9.
15. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1): The Tampa offense is showing some life, but Jon Gruden is already on his second quarterback. This could be a long season. Last week, number 22.
16. New Orleans Saints (1-1): Blew a big fourth quarter lead to the Washington Redskins. I think they need some help on the defensive end. Last week, number 8.
17. New York Jets (1-1): Brett Favre can’t do this on his own, especially when the Jets are playing against the Patriots. Last week, number 13.
18. Atlanta Falcons (1-1): So much for Matt Ryan and Michael Turner leading the Falcons to an undefeated season. Last week, number 16.
19. Washington Redskins (1-1): The Redskins discovered their offense in the fourth quarter last week, just before owner Dan Snyder was going to post Jason Campbell’s face on a milk carton. Last week, number 27.
20. San Francisco 49ers (1-1): Is J.T. O’Sullivan the next Joe Montana? I think the Niners would settle for him being the next Jeff Garcia. Last week, number 28.
21. Oakland Raiders (1-1): They looked like a real team last week. Then again, they were playing the Kansas City Chiefs. Last week, number 30.
22. San Diego Chargers (0-2): They shouldn’t have lost either of these games. Blame the officiating all that you want, but they still should have won. Last week, number 17.
23. Cleveland Browns (0-2): Is the Brady Quinn area about to get started in Cleveland? It might if the offense doesn’t start scoring some points. Last week, number 18.
24. Jacksonville Jaguars (0-2): Even good running backs can’t make a bad offensive line good. Last week, number 19.
25. Minnesota Vikings (0-2): Gus Frerotte is now the Vikings starting QB. I don’t know about you, but I’d just snap the ball to Adrian Peterson instead. Last week, number 25.
26. Miami Dolphins (0-2): They made the Cardinals look like a great team last week. I think Ricky Williams is probably about to retire again. Last week, number 20.
27. Seattle Seahawks (0-2): Things aren’t off to a good start out in the Pacific Northwest. Last week, number 23.
28. Cincinnati Bengals (0-2): Lousy offense. Lousy defense. The Bengals are searching for clues, but they’re not finding any. Last week, number 24.
29. Houston Texans (0-1): They would probably be 0-2 were it not for Hurricane Ike. Ahman Green is still injured, and Marion Williams is about to sue for lack of support on the defensive side. Last week, number 29.
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30. St. Louis Rams (0-2): Say hello to the best professional football team in Missouri. I think Missouri probably wishes the Rams were back in California. Last week, number 31.
31. Detroit Lions (0-2): They gave it the old college try last week. Unfortunately, this is the pros. Last week, number 32.
32.Kansas City Chiefs (0-2): The second best professional football team in Missouri. However, there are only two pro teams in Missouri. Last week, number 26.
-- John Royal