If there's one thing that irks Hair Balls, it's when we find out our new neighbor -- a nice-enough dude we like to talk to about Dancing with the Stars and whatnot -- turns out to be a convicted family-killer who also sends dead piglets to gals who catch his fancy. Why does this keep happening to us?!
This was the case with one Jovan Anton Collier, 44, who the Galveston Daily News reported had been unlawfully living at an island apartment complex five months after his release from a Florida prison, where he'd served time for stalking a teacher he'd tried to woo with the aforementioned carcass as well as a variety of sex toys.
And, oh yeah, he shot and stabbed his adoptive parents and ten-year-old adoptive brother to death at their Wisconsin farmhouse in 1983, when he was 14.
"Under Wisconsin law, [Collier] served only four years in the Ethan Allen House, a state-run youth detention center," according to the Daily News. "He could not be charged as an adult. Because he was only found delinquent, he was an eligible heir to his family's state."
Ethan Allen House? We dig their furniture!
Collier had come to the Park at Cedar Lawn apartments to live with his ex-wife, Sara Collier Zavaldi. The reunited lovebirds might have lived the rest of their days in harmony had it not been for Zavaldi's daughter, who got the weird idea that it might not be in her mom's best interest to stay with Collier.
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After police warned Collier that he was trespassing -- he wasn't on Zavaldi's lease -- Collier split for California. Or at least that's what he claimed in an e-mail to the Daily News:
As a direct result of a combination of current stresses, along with [the daughter's] meddling, I have decided it would be in everyone's best interest if I returned to California....Good luck on your future witch hunts.
Poor guy. God, you kill one family and send one dead pig, and people think you're some kinda freak!