It's not unusual for a groom to take a nip or two before he takes to the altar on his wedding day. As shows like America's Funniest Home Videos have shown us a million times, not infrequently, husbands-to-be overdo it and flub their vows, or in extreme cases, puke all over the preacher and/or bride.
Leave it to a Lufkinite to outdo all those guys by a wide margin. And no, unless standards really take a turn toward the degenerate, don't expect to see a cornfed studio audience chortling to Tom Bergeron's wisecracks as Kemone Dickerson's big-day antics unfold on the screen. (On the other hand, should any video that might exist find its way to Tosh.0, Dickerson might just have a Web redemption in his future.)
According to a police report reported by KTRE, the 35-year-old Dickerson had been soaking up drink like a sponge since early in the day to celebrate his upcoming nuptials.
And maybe the combination of bourbon so sour and hot sun got to him, because police were called out to a fight in progress and found Dickerson sitting on the ground in front of a house, bleeding from the head, with another bloodied man standing over him with a baseball bat.
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According to the report, Dickerson had gotten "aggravated" at the man with the bat at some point, and had run to a nearby house and allegedly entered the open garage and snatched a vase. Police say Dickerson then proceeded to beat the man over the head with the vase. Somewhere along the way, police say that Dickerson also found the time to punch his niece in the face, damage someone's mailbox and shatter baseball bat guy's rear windshield with a cinder block.
Police didn't say if this happened before or after he and his beloved tied the knot. We're thinking before, and this just might have been one of the more unique expressions of cold feet we've come across.
And it looks like those feet will be getting colder and colder. If convicted on all charges -- burglary of a habitation, aggravated assault, criminal mischief, and assault/family violence -- he'll probably be cooling his heels behind bars for quite some time to come.