One of the few remaining joys of listening in the morning to KTRH, once the city's proudest newsradio station, is not weather or traffic.
Sure, those are about the last reliable things the station broadcasts, but that doesn't mean there's no other entertainment value left.
Take, for instance, the station's online opinion polls, which they pimp relentlessly throughout the morning.
"Is Barack Obama a socialist sleeper agent OR the anti-Christ? Go to KTRH.com and vote now!!" the formerly respectable anchors chirp.
Can you predict how KTRH voters decided? Check out these five recent polls and guess:
5. "Is the firing of Juan Williams by NPR proof that taxpayer funded public broadcasting is obsolete and intolerant?"
Hmmm. It's the "and" here that's difficult to predict. Sure, NPR is intolerant, but also obsolete? This is like a college team giving 32 points on the road against a patsy -- those last few points are going to be determined by scrubs. So sure, 90 percent of KTRH listeners will agree that public broadcasting is both obsolete and intolerant -- and Communist, if that had been an option -- but 92 percent? Or 89 percent? Maybe 98.99999 percent?
The answer: 93.7 percent.
4. "Rush Limbaugh called President Obama an 'economic illiterate' and a jackass. What do you think?"
Ah, well, it's a gimme -- if Rush says something, 90-plus percent of KTRH listeners will happily agree, right? WRONG.
Because KTRH offered three choices: "Truth," 74 percent; "Disrespectful," eight percent...and -- wait for it -- "Both," 18 percent.
3. "Do you think the government has information of a credible terrorist threat that it isn't sharing?"
Reminder: This question was asked during a Democratic administration. So if you guessed "more than 87 percent 'yes'," you're money!!!!
2. "Is the IQ of a convicted killer important in deciding if they should be put to death for their crimes?"
C'mon now -- even KTRH listeners wouldn't want to go around killing mentally challenged people, right? Surely the "yes" responses to this question would approach 50 percent, wouldn't it? No one's asking for the criminal to be let loose, after all.
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Dream on: "Yes" got less than 17 percent.
1. "The NAACP adopts a resolution calling the tea party movement racist. Tea partiers say it's just a political ploy. What do you think?"
Again, hmmmm -- "Political ploy" or "Legitimate beef"? Gotta be 90 percent or so "Political ploy," maybe 98 percent at least, right?
Again, you have vastly underestimated the KTRH audience. Only 46.04 percent said "Political ploy."
On the other hand, 46.15 percent clicked the third choice offered, "The NAACP is no longer relevant."