South Texas is hell-bent on showing the rest of us exciting new ways of involving the whole family in drunk driving shenanigans.
Last week, Hair Balls brought you the Padre Island-based story of the (allegedly) shit-faced Rosales ladies -- one of whom allegedly attempted to get a elementary school-age child to blow in her car's built-in Breathalyzer in her place.
This week, Larry Lee Garza steps up to the plate. According to the Corpus Christi Caller-Times, police pulled him over around midnight Saturday-going-into-Sunday after they saw a small child crawling around free in the backseat of his car.
After he stopped, it was discovered that there was another child roaming free in the vehicle, or at the most, sitting in an adult's lap. (One of the boys was two, the other four.)
But it was what was in the car-seat in the back of Garza's car that gives this little item its special piquancy: namely, two cases of beer.
Now before y'all get all high and mighty, put yourself in Garza's shoes.
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He was faced with a fiendish dilemma: one car-seat and two kids in his car. Should the worst happen, only one of the kids could be protected, and the other might be left to grieve. It was kinda like Sophie's Choice, with a twist, because thankfully, there was also a third way: he could protect both cases of beer.
Couple that with the fact that this is Texas, still the home of many an archaic, unjust blue law, one of which dictates that beer cannot be sold before noon on a Sunday. Aside from that
24 48-can haul Garza had aboard his ride, he was faced with 12 long hours of drought.
Looking at it that way, Garza's Choice is practically a no-brainer. Strap the brew in the car-seat and hope for the best.
Sadly for Garza, Corpus cops apparently didn't agree. Garza is charged with suspicion of DWI with a child passenger, a state-jail felony. According to court records, he was still in custody on Monday, his bail set at $5,000.