Let's Make This Rick Perry-Bobby Jindal Bet Interesting, For Chrissake

The Texas Longhorns are playing the LSU Tigers in the College World Series, and that can mean only one thing: an entirely dull press release announcing some stupid bet between the governors of the respective states.

And voila!! Rick Perry's putting up Texas barbecue, Bobby Jindal is putting up seafood, and they bothzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Barbecue vs. seafood? This is the best they can do? We think not. Here are some bets that might really be worth talking about.

1. The internet was abuzz two years ago when Louisiana's US Senator David Vitter got caught up in a call-girl scandal that at one point involved charges that he, ummm, liked to wear diapers. Now, come on: when it comes to bets, you can't beat that. Losing governor gets Vitter's diapers. (We assume they're in evidence somewhere.) If it's a sweep, losing governor wears Vitter's diapers. Call girls optional.

2. If Texas loses, Perry has to adopt Jindal's crusade to actually have strong ethics laws for politicians instead of, say, hiring a lobbyist as chief of staff. If LSU loses, Jindal has to run against Kay Bailey Hutchison.

3. Let's make this something the rest of the states' populations can bite their fingernails over: Losing school adopts Notre Dame's academic policies concerning football players attending class, getting degrees and eventually having double-digit Wonderlic scores. Guaranteed to boost ratings in at least two states, not to mention Oklahoma and Florida.

4. Perry loses, he has to spend a month studying budget and briefing books to the same degree Jindal does. Jindal loses, he has to spend a month riding mountain bikes to the same degree Perry does.

5. If Louisiana wins, it gets a lifetime supply of Gardasil. If Texas wins, Jindal has to perform a free exorcism.

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Richard Connelly
Contact: Richard Connelly