It was bad enough when Florida beat us in crazy-ass crimes, but now they're leaving us in the dust in breast enhancements?
Texas, we don;t even know who you are anymore.
For years, Lone Star residents have looked on proudly and in horror (well, mostly in horror -- jaw-dropping, WTF horror) at Sheyla Hershey, whose relentless pursuit of bigger boobs has been tirelessly chronicled by Fox 26.
She most recently showed up on the news with claims her 38KKK bazongas saved her in a car crash.
Now, however, comes Miami mom Lacey Wildd (real name Paula Simonds), whose bigger than Hershey and wants to get bigger.
Our sister paper Miami New Times tips us to a U.K. Daily Mail story on Wildd's quest to go from her current L cup to MMM. (and the MMM is not for "mmmmmm.") (By the way, like all things related to women's clothing, we know nothing, so we're going with the assumption an L cup is bigger than a KKK cup. Any claims to the contrary will be met with a big "whatever.")
As Miami New Times notes, there is something blocking her dreams -- not even a Miami pastic surgeon can be found to do the job. She might have to out of the country to get it done.
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Wildd's Facebook page includes this self-bio:
Known for reality tv Mtv TRUELIFE. I also do glam model and actress known as Lacey Wildd . My official website laceywilddd.com If you would like to book me to host an event, shoot, movie or co host, spokesmodel. Please feel free to contact me here. I am currently one of the largest breasted models in the world. I do not do porn or adult work. Sorry. I have done commercials, movies,videos,talkshows Howard Stern, Dr Phil, MTV , father Albert, Montel Williams,Dr Drew, comdey and some horror. Outgoing, outrageous and tons of fun. I have a horror series coming out this next year. And working on another film now.
The beachball-sized plastic ball is in your court, Hershey.