Opinion: Root Root for a Texans Loss This Weekend

Get out there and make us proud, coach, by losing!
Get out there and make us proud, coach, by losing! Photo by Eric Sauseda
If there were ever a time for Lovie Smith to rouse his players with a thunderous speech, this is it. With just one game left in the regular season — and the season, period, for the Texans — this is no time to hold back. This team needs to lay it all on the line this weekend, give it their all in Indianapolis against a very mediocre Colts team.

And fans, you also need to do everything you can to help the Texans pull this one off. Whatever superstitions you have, use them to their fullest. We cannot risk the outcome of this one.

The Texans must lose.

This has been an absolutely abominable season for the Texans, a real dumpster fire amidst a history of somewhat smaller dumpster fires. It's like this one included chemical toxins and the death of joy. With just two wins and a single tie (perfect), this is likely to be the worst team in franchise history. They have gone 2-14 before, twice in fact. But, never in this fashion, floundering with a platoon at quarterback and only marginal talent on both sides of the football. It's been a disgrace.

But, we still need one more embarrassing loss to wrap this up. Why, you might ask? Because, despite the agony of this season, they still have not wrapped up the worst record in the NFL, which would secure for them the No. 1 pick in the draft. Chicago (3-13) are nearly equal to the Texans in futility. The only thing that stands in the way of a 3-14 record for the Bears is a Minnesota Viking team that leads the division at 12-4.

Were they to lose on Sunday and the Texans somehow win, Chicago would jump into that top spot leaving the Texans No. 2. Still, you're saying, it's the second best pick in the draft. This is true, and congratulations on passing elementary school math. The problem is that the Texans really, really need a quarterback in this draft. Like, seriously.

Let's underscore here that the Texans have been one of the most rudderless teams at the quarterback position in NFL history. Only once in their history have they had a QB with the kind of talent that gets you to Super Bowls. Unfortunately, twenty-something lawsuits later, he is in Cleveland and the Texans are left with Davis Mills and Jeff Driskel, who Smith has been playing together (?). They fact they eked out two wins is remarkable.

Fortunately, there are some good quarterbacks at the top of the draft heap this season including Alabama's Bryce Young and Ohio State's C.J. Stroud. This might give you pause to think, "Well, if there are two really good players, can't they just get one with the second pick?"

*insert loud buzzer noise here*

We're sorry, but do you know who the Texans are? This is a franchise that has never been past the divisional round of the playoffs and have won five or fewer games seven times in 20 years. You don't want to leave anything to chance with them running the show. Neither do you want to give Chicago an opportunity to trade the first pick to someone who needs a star QB (they do not).

And, in case you still feel OK about it, check this list of QBs drafted with the second pick in the modern era:

Rick Mirer
Ryan Leaf
Donovan McNabb
Robert Griffin III
Marcus Mariota
Carson Wentz
Mitchell Trubisky

Still feel good about the Texans picking second? Us either.

The point being that this loss is more important than any loss in recent history and it's up to the Texans to bring it on home. They have got to leave it all on the field, and by that we mean all of their squandered rushing yards, all the incomplete passes to Rex Burkhead, all the bobbled interceptions and, of course, any hope of winning this final game.

We need you on this one, Texans. Lose one for us!
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Jeff Balke is a writer, editor, photographer, tech expert and native Houstonian. He has written for a wide range of publications and co-authored the official 50th anniversary book for the Houston Rockets.
Contact: Jeff Balke