Louie Gohmert Is Against Gay Marriage Because of 'Plumbing' Problems

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Congressman Louie Gohmert is at it again. The East Texas representative is known for spouting his opinions with little regard for minor things like facts, or reason, or not making it look as if everyone in Texas is a bigoted, racist idiot, and he has been airing his views on the move to legalize gay marriage. Shockingly enough, he's not for it. The weird, and classically Gohmert-ish thing about it is he's not for it because of plumbing.

Gohmert appeared at an event, "Conversations with Conservatives," put on by the Heritage Foundation last week alongside the likes of Michelle Bachmann and Steve King. But if you thought Bachmann's presence meant Gohmert wasn't going to get the chance to show off his own unique talent for saying stuff that makes absolutely no sense (see: Gohmert's comments after the Aurora shootings; his belief that caribou will appreciate pipelines for the warmth; his belief that Black Widows are coming to America to give birth to terrorists) you thought wrong. He opened his mouth and started talking about the federal judge who ruled the ban on gay marriage in Oklahoma was unconstitutional last week, and left us very concerned for him.

Gohmert argued that judges who have argued there's no biological proof marriage should just be limited to a man and a woman displayed his own lack of knowledge in arguing the judges are wrong:

"They need some basic plumbing lessons," he said, according to Raw Story. "For one omnipotent, omniscious, ubiquitous federal judge who is wise beyond his education to say -- to make such a declaration about the law, I think, requires revisiting by each state and compliance with the U.S. Supreme Court."

Yes, folks. The elected official who has previously argued that legalizing gay marriage will put the United States "on the road to the dust bin of history" is still an elected official and he is out there representing Texas on the national stage. Even better, the guy who quoted Solomon in saying "there's nothing new under the sun" as more justification for why gay marriage should not be allowed in America, was up on that stage because people actually paid to see him.

Last week, he added to his case against gay marriage by assuming, in an impressively narrow view of the institution of wedlock, that marriage is solely about "plumbing" and popping out babies (we're pretty sure he's mistaken there.) Worse still -- and we may be reading into this -- but his statement seemed to imply a lack of understanding about how all the human fun-time "plumbing" parts actually work that leaves us with real concern. If he still thinks marriage is only about sex and procreation and "plumbing", that's not good. We'll gladly send him some instruction manuals if that's the case. A little education can go a long way. Maybe he'll even stop talking about "plumbing." That would be cool.

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