Mayor Annise Parker announced mandatory water conservation in the city because levels at Lake Houston have gotten too low.
That means you have 72 hours to fix any detectable water leaks at your house, you lazy bastard, and you're limited in your lawn-sprinkling: Keep it between the hours of 8 p.m. and 10 a.m., and only two days a week. Homes with even-numbered addresses can water Sundays and Thursdays; odd-numbers get Saturdays and Wednesdays.
Ignore the rule, and you won't get fined....yet.
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"While these restrictions are mandatory, we will begin with warnings and an informational campaign because the goal is voluntary compliance," said Mayor Parker. "For those who insist on not being good neighbors, citations will follow."
The city will take its own steps immediately as well:
-- Suspension of any scheduled window washing -- Suspension of any scheduled power washing of buildings, sidewalks and parking areas -- Discontinue washing city vehicles or equipment except for health, safety or critical maintenance reasons -- Order an audit of all irrigation systems for leaks to ensure proper operation of timers and sprinkler heads.
So Houston will be rollin' dirty for the foreseeable future. We hope it doesn't affect any city employees driving city vehicles to their lunchtime hooker blowjobs.