Manifesto Of The Powerless

We, the people of Houston still without power 11 days after Ike; we, the CenterPoint customers who are seeing friggin' Entergy restore power more quickly (this, for the uninitiated, is the equivalent of your four-year-old making LeBron his bitch on the court); we, the neglected one-third who have yet to see a utility truck near our homes, have this to say to the rest of you:

We hate you.

We hate your ability to bask in a/c, do laundry, watch college football or the Emmys or Mad Men or whatever it is you watch. We hate your ability to choose not to watch TV and instead read a book, without balancing a flashlight on your shoulder.

We hate your easy access to cold beer.

We hate the fact that your dinner menu doesn't include something char-broiled on the backyad grill for the 11th day in a row.

We hate that your kids aren't asking every 10 minutes when the power might come back on.

We hate the fact that ice, for you, isn't something you need to go to the store each night to get, sitting through the shitty traffic because the red lights aren't working.

Don't take it personally -- as soon as we get power, we'll lord it over the rest of the un-electrified too.

And we really shouldn't take it out on you guys. It's CenterPoint that should be taking the brunt of it. So far, they've proven good only at coming up with excuses for why every other company in the area is restoring power much quicker than they are.

CenterPoint, you suck. The rest of you people, not so much, we guess. We apologize for the outburst.

But not to CenterPoint.

-- Richard Connelly

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