Apparently, at the end of Game 3 of the Maversicks-Blazers series on Thursday night in Portland, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban was pegged in the face with a mysterious unidentified object. While I don't condone the anonymous launching of projectiles at anyone when they're not looking (If they're looking, it's perfectly okay.), predictably Cuban himself was part of the problem.
According to ESPN Dallas, Cuban was "interacting with fans in the section behind the Mavericks' bench" throughout the game, a 97-92 Mavs loss:
"I don't know what it was, but something hit me in the face," said Cuban, who encouraged fans to boo him more by putting his hand by his ear.
As big a tool as Cuban can appear to be sometimes (I say APPEAR to be because I'd take him as an owner of one of my teams in a second), it begs the question: How did it take this long for someone to drill Cuban in the face with a random object?
I can list and provide video for at least five other instances where it would have been justified to take dead aim at Cuban with a soda, beer, brick, or battery.
5. Cuban on Entourage
Aside from the fact that his acting is piss-poor porno quality, Cuban ultimately is trying to fuckMarcelino from Seinfeld
out of his family's tequila factory. Not cool.
4. Cuban throwing a Gatorade jug
Look! Mark Cuban himself throws shit at games! What's good for the annoying owner is good for the annoyed fan!
3. Cuban cusses at Kenyon Martin
A few years ago when the Mavs met the Nuggets in the playoffs, Cuban decided to take it upon himself to tell Kenyon Martin's mom what a thug her son is. While he may be right about that, dragging someone's mother into the mix, and talking about her baby boy no less...well, that's grounds for a warm, foamy Budweiser upside the skull.2. Cuban takes an RKO
It's always fun when non-WWE people inject themselves into WWE events. In this one, Eric Bischoff (then commissioner of WWE) invited Cuban to come up to the ring. Short story shorter, Cuban winds up taking a finishing move (the "RKO") from WWE Superstar Randy Orton and sells it like he's been killed. At this point, showering the ring with debris is acceptable and since Cuban was almost literally part of the ring after being splattered from that move, in turn showering him with debris would have been fine.
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1. Cuban cries at Dirk Nowitzki's MVP presser
There are times in a press conference where tears are acceptable (not many, but a few -- winning a title after several tries, sudden retirement from an unexpected injury, finding out Cecil Cooper is your manager). Having one of your players win the league MVP and remembering what a hard worker he is is not one of them. I'd have gone with the half-full water bottle here.
Listen to Sean Pendergast on 1560 The Game from noon to 3 p.m. weekdays and follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.