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Marmaduke: The Five Most Perverted Sex Scenes

Marmaduke the movie is coming out Friday, for some reason. This is somewhat surprising, since we know of no one who finds Marmaduke the comic strip funny, in an intentional way at least.

There are plenty of people who find it funny in other ways.

Thanks to those heroes, we have compiled a sampling of the most disgusting bestiality porn to ever show up with regularity on comic pages across America. Let's just say the creator of Marmaduke likes to draw certain...situations.

Mr. Finster, Bitch

Good Lord, this one's not even subtle. Nice touch: The girl echoing the birds-and-bees language of "You see, honey, when a man likes a woman....."

We think they call this "versatile" on Craiglist

Top? Bottom? "Topping from the bottom," like Ralphie Cifaretto in The Sopranos? Marmaduke is open to anything. As the look of sublime enjoyment on his face tells you. As for the owner, quivering all over and scrunching his face up, it looks like it's money time.

A threesome goes wrong

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We're not sure this is the original caption, but it doesn't matter because the picture tells the story. And judging from the way Marmaduke is positioned over the woman's lap, it doesn't look like she's exactly missing her man.

A little something for the older ladies

Got a little gray? Marmaduke don't care. Or maybe this woman simply is using her full plate to tease the dog into giving her some of the physical affection she so craves since becoming a widow.

Roofie-fueled revenge sex

Deeply ashamed that his previous encounter with Marmaduke ended with premature ejaculation -- still hearing the bitchy "That's all you got?" taunts from Big M in his head, the owner gets his revenge via angry, sociopathic sex. He'll show Marmaduke who's boss, even if it takes several dog roofies to do it.

The Marmaduke movie, by the way, is rated PG "for some rude humor and language." We'll believe that when we see it. And, since we will never, ever see the movie, we will always believe it.

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