Maybe the East Germans Can Help

Those funny folks at the McAllen Chamber of Commerce are at it again, keeping up their opposition to the border fencing the Department of Homeland Security has planned for South Texas.

This time, McAllen Chamber of Commerce President and CEO Steve Ahlenius has come up with a list of ways to get around a physical wall separating Texas from Mexico.

Suggestions include:

It's a Banksy kind of day.

Climb over it. This seems to work well in Arizona

Tunnel under it. This is a very popular choice in California

Walk around it. This is an easy option.

Fly into Canada and then walk across

Boat across the Gulf of Mexico to another state where there are no walls.


Call East Germany survivors and ask how they did it

Walk around with a cell phone saying, “Can you hear me now?”

Buy an Acme kit, paint a hole on the wall and walk through

Walk backwards and say you’re leaving

Pretend you’re a Canadian- eh?

Say you’re here to deliver the tequila

Master the pogo stick

Plant magic beans next to the wall and wait

Employ the Jedi mind trick. “These are not the illegals you are looking for.”

Put on a hard hat, grab a clip board and say you’re inspecting the wall

Grab onto a huge handful of helium balloons and float over the wall

Create a human pyramid

Use a trampoline

Glue suction cups to your feet

Hide in a piñata

Dress in black and hide in the wall’s shadow

Start a rousing game of Red Rover Red Rover

Run down the road yelling, “The Muslims are coming!”

Pole vault over

Build a Trojan Javelina and mail it to Washington D.C.

Employ the assistance of a giant gopher

Hitch a ride on a UFO

Use a Harry Potter Invisibility Cloak

Mail yourself

Get a boost from Yao Ming

Use a grappling hook

Stand on a pile of cases of beer

Pretend to look for a lost cat

Pretend to be Santa

Learn the Indian rope charm

Make like Evel Knieval

Anger a field goal kicker and have him kick you over

-- Margaret Downing

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