An artist's sketch of the victim.

Mayor McCheese Could Not Be Reached for Comment

A Ronald McDonald statue was stolen yesterday from a Mickey D's in Baytown. KHOU broke

the story

, but HouStoned has an update, in the form of a transcript of what the thieves said right before perpetrating the larceny. Here it is, in its entirety.

Thief One: Dude, we should steal that statue. That shit would be hilarious.

Thief Two: Oh, man. Let's do it.

Baytown police are seeking this man for questioning, but in order to expedite the process, the department has joined together with HouStoned to get the statue back, no questions asked. (This joint operation is super, super top secret, so don't bother asking Baytown PD about it, because they'll just deny it outright.) Anyone with information leading to the delivery of the Ronald McDonald statue to the Houston Press parking lot will receive a free HouStoned Rocks T-shirt. And then we'll, um, turn the statue over to the authorities. — Keith Plocek

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