FROM: KPRC STATION MANAGEMENT
TO: ALL KPRC STAFF
CC: KPRC SALES STAFF
SUBJECT: ASHLEY MADISON.COM
As I'm sure most of you have heard, during the third period of Sunday's Super Bowl - and wasn't that an exciting game by the way - this television station aired a commercial for a website known as AshleyMadison.com. I'm sure that some of you have also heard that the Canadians refused to let this ad air on the Canadian feed of the game. And that AshleyMadison.com was not allowed to place an ad in the official Super Bowl program. I'm sure that you might also be aware that they were not allowed to advertise on NBC during the game. And you might also be aware that Houston was just about the only market in the U.S. or Canada to see this ad.
What some of you might not know - though I believe our receptionist might now be aware of this - is that AshleyMadison.com is a website that encourages adultery.
Apparently our sales staff didn't quite do the research, and they weren't aware of this fact. Which is why, as I mentioned above, we were about the only station in this hemisphere to air that ad during the Super Bowl.
I'm sending this little memo out to everybody so that you can handle any phone calls, e-mails, or texts you might be getting about this. I would suggest that you use one of these excuses if you're asked to explain this little incident.
10. We're sorry about that. We thought the commercial was for Dolly Madison.
9. We were going to the sell the ad time to Paul Blart: Mall Cop, but frankly, we're sick of the spots for that movie.
8. Yes, we are sorry about that. We were under the impression that it was just another one of those Saturday Night Live parody ads that aired during the game, you know, like that MacGruber thing for Pepsi. What? You mean that was a real commercial?
7. We do want to apologize, but seriously, in this economy, we're taking the cash from anyplace we can get it.
6. We're really sorry about that. But the referee called us from under the replay hood and demanded that we show it to him.
5. They told us they were a dating site. They just didn't specify what kind of dating site.
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4. Well, our sales staff did try to check out the website, but our porn filter wouldn't allow them access.
3. Yes, we're sorry that we aired that commercial. We were under the impression that it was another one of the GoDaddy.com commercials of Danica Patrick making out with a naked blonde chick in a shower.
2. So let me get this straight. You don't mind Bruce Springsteen's crotch filling up your high-def, but an innocuous ad pisses you off? Priorities. Priorities.
1. What are you bitching about? Would you rather have been in Tucson and subjected to hard-core pornography (edited slightly safer for work version) just as Larry Fitzgerald scored to put the Cardinals ahead of Pittsburgh in the fourth quarter?