Michael Brown's Lawyers: He's Broke, and Jeff Bagwell Is Trying to "Take" His Children

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While Michael "Sex Advice Columnist for His Own Daughter" Brown testified in a contempt hearing in Houston this week, lawyers in Miami are continually filing a flurry of papers claiming, among other things, that Brown was too broke to fly his private plane, despite the fact that he recently filed paperwork in a bankruptcy case indicating that his average monthly income is $1.59 million.

After Brown was accused of choking out some flight attendants, he was slapped with bail provisions that barred him from flying commercially. But on February 27, Brown's bankruptcy attorney, Robert Hantman (who's also handling the Infamous Anal Herpes Case), asked to modify bail and let Brown fly commercially, as long as he flies with an ex-FBI, ex-Navy SEAL dude named John Gilliam, who recently launched a company that provides armed nannies to very protective parents. (Hantman is listed in Florida corporation records as the company's registered agent.)

The request was denied.

Since he filed for bankruptcy in January, Brown has further muddied the waters of an already convoluted divorce case -- something he may have realized was a mistake, hence his motion to dismiss his bankruptcy filing in February. While no decision appears to have been made, Brown filed an extension to produce amended financial statements, something his wife, Rachel Brown, opposed in a motion filed March 5.

In that motion, her attorney, Alan Crane, wrote that Brown "has attempted to portray himself as a victim of the wife, the wife's lawyers, his lawyers and the various court systems. In fact, the debtor [Brown] is a victim of his own failure to take responsibility for his own actions or inactions."

By filing for bankruptcy, Brown believed he was entitled to freeze all payments to Rachel Brown. Shortly before filing for bankruptcy protection, Brown also sought a modification of child visitation privileges, but the overarching strategy was derailed (at least in part) by the federal criminal charges.

Hantman addressed this in a sworn statement, painting Brown as a poor dad who hasn't seen his kids in over a year. Although a January visit was planned, Hantman claimed, it was "scuttled at the last moment" by Rachel Brown's lawyer, David Brown (no relation), who demanded that Rachel's boyfriend, ex-Astro Jeff Bagwell, "have full access to the children, without restriction," before agreeing to the terms of the visit. A champion of virtue and integrity, Hantman admonished David Brown, stating "that any lawyer would use the children as pawns is unseemly at best and despicable from an attorney who, upon information and belief, has already been paid over $3 million dollars."

Hantman added, "Why Mr. Bagwell is adamant on this point is perplexing as not only has he 'taken' Dr. Brown's wife...but now he wants the children to, to the exclusion of Dr. Brown."

In the panoply of lawyers who've represented Michael Brown throughout the years -- many of whom haven't been paid and are listed as creditors in his bankruptcy papers -- Hantman is among the most odious. In other words, we love this guy. If we ever got accused of giving anyone anal herpes, Hantman would be our first phone call. We'd tell our friends, too: "When you think 'anal herpes,' think Hantman!"

More to come, as we make our way through this cluster.

(Our coverage of the Brown hearing also includes the former doctor somehow claiming women have long been fleecing him.)

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