Are you a Dallas Cowboys fan? Are you disappointed with the way the season ended? Do you think that the problem might have a little something to do with head coach Wade Phillips? Or offensive coordinator Jason Garrett? Perhaps you're like Troy Aikman who thinks the problem is that Tony Romo spends too much time hanging out with Jessica Simpson and not enough time attempting to be a team leader. Or you think Terrell Owens is a cancer.
All of that could be true. But I've got some good news for you. The Dallas Cowboys have found a solution to the problem. And that solution is coming from Michael Irvin in the form of a reality show.
Michael Irvin and Spike TV will be airing a reality program this spring, and the lucky winner of the reality show will become one of the 80 football players given a spot on the Dallas Cowboys training camp roster. There will be 12 players on this show, six receivers and six defensive backs. And they will be coached by the likes of Troy Aikman - I'm glad that he can take the time away from bitching about Romo - Emmitt Smith, who must have some time off from "Dancing With The Stars," Deion Sanders, and Jerry Jones, who doesn't have anything more important to do with his time.
Now there aren't any details on what the 12 contestants will be doing for the contest. But seeing as how Aikman is involved, I'm guessing that he will teach them to bitch about how classless opposing players are. And I'm sure Emmitt is going to teach them how to mangle the English language while doing the Foxtrot. Deion Sanders will teach the art of self-promotion and the ability to play a defensive position while never making a tackle in his career.
I think Michael Irvin will be doing the real teaching, however. I'm sure he'll teach the receivers the proper way to commit pass interference while having it blamed on the defensive back. But his real talent will come with showing the guys how to deflect the blame when a marijuana pipe is found in your car. Or how to go to the "can I tell you who I am" card when busted in a motel room with hookers and cocaine. And I'm sure he'll tell them the proper way to wear a mink coat when making a court appearance.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to the mission of the Houston Press. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Houston’s stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
There you have it Cowboy fans. If Jerry Jones has time for this, then you know that all must be well with the Dallas Cowboys. So I would advise you to stop worrying about your team. And I'm sure that if the Houston Texans were to have a reality show, it would involve Gary Kubiak searching for Denver Bronco rejects to join the team.