Miss Pop Rocks: Things I Think Are Probably Worse Than Jessica Simpson’s Upcoming Movie

After viewing the trailer to Jessica Simpson’s upcoming “film” entitled Major Movie Star, I decided to compile a list of things that I think are probably worse than this soon-to-be-released cinematic event.

It took a long time to think of ten things that are worse, but I did it. Here goes:

1. Chlamydia

2. Having to tell your previous partners you may have given them Chlamydia

3. Having to spend your best years in a full body cast

4. Nuclear warfare

5. Being told you must put a beloved animal to sleep

6. The death of a loved one

7. The humanitarian crisis in Darfur

8. Watching an elderly parent lose his or her faculties

9. Accidentally killing someone either in a hit and run or some other tragedy

10. Passing gas in front of your crush and it’s way obvious it was you and not someone else

So, that’s my list of things that are worse than Jessica Simpson’s new movie. And I think number 10 is actually stretching it a little. – Jennifer Mathieu

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Jennifer Mathieu
Contact: Jennifer Mathieu