Monica de Guzman: Three Kilos of Heroin in Nine Packages of Powdered Drink Mix

Let's see, the three steps of Gatorade greatness in the G Series are 10 Prime, 2) Perform and 3) Recover.

In the heretofore unknown H Series, the process also includes 4) Blissfully nodding out to Lou Reed.

That's the takeaway we get, anyway, from the arrest and charges filed today against Guatemalan citizen Monica Leticia Morales de Guzman, 27. Federal prosecutors say she tried to smuggle into the U.S. almost three kilos of heroin hidden inside nine packages of powdered juice drink.

Was the drink Gatorade? Prosecutors don't say. So let's just assume it is, because why the hell not? ("Oh Yeeeahhhh" Kool-Aid Man would work, too.)

Morales de Guzman was flying from Guatemala City to Boston September 7 with a stop at Bush Intercontinental. While she was at IAH and undergoing a customs inspection, a dog alerted on the powdered drinks, prosecutors say.

Located in a shopping bag inside her pink suitcase, officers discovered nine packages of powdered juice mix which concealed pink plastic bags containing a total of 2.994 kilograms of heroin, according to the complaint.

"This apprehension is an example of the commitment of CBP officers to disrupting alleged illegal activity that could pose a devastating threat to the American public," said Jeffrey O. Baldwin Sr., CBP director of Houston Field Operations.

Morales de Guzman is expected to be arraigned this afternoon.

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