Most. Boring. Oscars. Ever.

Ugh! The only interesting thing about the whole damn show was the realization that Goldie Hawn looks like Mickey Rourke. Stop with the work, lady!

Seriously. God love Hugh Jackman, but this is not the Tonys. Could that Beyonce "Best of the Musicals" number been any more cheese ball? I have expected Brad Pitt to jump up from his front row seat and start in on "When You're a Jet." Bleh.

Speaking of, crazy about Jennifer Aniston and Earth Mother sitting right near each other. Was I the only one hoping for a cat fight? I'm sorry, but it seems to me that Angelina doesn't have a funny bone in her body. At least Jen was mugging it with Jack Black up there for a bit. Angelina was probably eyeing the Indian kids from Slumdog, wondering which one she was going to take home with her.

As for funny...James Franco and Seth Rogan as two stoners commenting on the awards was perhaps the only funny moment of the entire show (okay, so the opening number was cute...but it was all down hill from there for Hugh). Franco and Rogan's bit made it clear to me that, once again, the funny is necessary for the Oscars. We needed a Jon Stewart or a Steve Martin...I realized watching last night how boring the show is without the host's funny asides in between each trophy presentation. (Remember Stewart's hilarious "I think it just got a little bit easier out here for a pimp" remark?)

I missed clips, too. That weird, bringing-out-the-former-winners thing and their little heartfelt speeches was slightly awkward and weird. And it also made me wonder, what sweet liquor was Whoopi Goldberg drinking when she decided to wear that leopard print thing? Yowza.

Anyway, I have no commentary on who won or lost...in five years we won't remember. But I will remember how dang boring this whole affair was. Please bring back the funny next year!

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