Never Depend On A QB Named "The Sex Cannon"

I stumbled over to the Texans website the other day, and after looking through things for a bit, I guess that I should buy my Super Bowl tickets because, if you listen to Texans employee Marc Vandermeer, this is an outstanding team at every position on the field. I especially like how he calls the signing of Rex "The Sex Cannon" Grossman an outstanding addition to the team.

But as a friend of mine who is big into fantasy football told me, the mere thought of Grossman taking a single snap as the Texans QB is enough to prevent him from drafting any offensive player on the Texans roster. And I still think there are a ton of Chicago Bears fans laughing their asses off over any team taking a chance on Grossman. Especially any team that has a starting quarterback who makes Tracy McGrady look like an iron man.

Then again, Sex Cannon jokes aside, the Texans should actually be an interesting team to watch this season. I don't think they're going to make the playoffs -- not as long as Gary Kubiak is coaching them they're not -- but they should be fun.

I'm really anxious to see how Steve Slaton is going to handle full-time running back duties this season. He was an amazing discovery last season, especially seeing as how the team saw him only as a third-down back when they drafted him last season. And if Matt Schaub can stay healthy, he's got a ton of weapons, led by Slaton, Andre Johnson, and Owen Daniels.  

Of course, the big if in the equation involves Schaub staying healthy. Watching Schaub, I sometimes find myself wondering if M. Night Shyamalan wrote Unbreakable with him in mind. That's just how fragile Schaub is. But as much as I mock him -- and will mock him -- the offense seems to run better when he's the one taking the snaps. And you will be longing for Sage Rosenfels and David Carr if Grossman ever has to take a snap in a game.

Training camp opens on July 31, and I'm pretty sure that, come that day, Vandermeer and his cohorts at Sports Radio 610, as well as the remaining writers at the Chron, will start talking up the Texans as this year's Super Bowl surprise. Frankly, I'd just like to see them have a winning season for once.

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John Royal is a native Houstonian who graduated from the University of Houston and South Texas College of Law. In his day job he is a complex litigation attorney. In his night job he writes about Houston sports for the Houston Press.
Contact: John Royal