The Washington Post reported that an Australian researcher had discovered a new species of horsefly and, because its backside was gold and therefore "bootylicious," he was naming it after Houston's own Beyoncé.
The species will henceforth be known as Scaptia (Plinthina) beyonceae.
Nice, but we're not sure it's a compliment to have a fly named after you, especially if, as the Post writes, it's possible "the rare species is a bloodsucker like many female horse flies."
So let's suggest five other options.
5. Goldenass If it's not the name of a James Bond parody porn film, it should be.
4. Scaptia (Plinthina) backthatazzup Come on, Goldy, you know you want it.
3.GoldaMyRear What, former Israeli prime minster Golda Meir shouldn't be honored? We're sure she had a very nice tuchus back in the day.
2. The Metamorphoses of Lucius Apuleius Cut, paste and Google it, fools.
1. Scaptia (Plinthina) sirmixalot "I like gold butts and you other brothers can't deny..." Come on, he needs the pub a hell of a lot more than Beyoncé.
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