As NFL Draft first rounds go, last night's was fine. No remarkable plummets for any quarterbacks, no really hideous suits (other than Cam Erving's tux, which looked like he'd just got done ripping tickets at a movie theater), and no remarkable significant others to wrest the title for Best WAG from Lauren Tannehill.
In fact, the most unnerving part of Round One was probably toward the end, when multiple reports had the Texans trading back into the first round for the Patriots pick at 32, giving everyone deja vu palpations over what we all wished they'd have done last year in order to get quarterback Teddy Bridgewater. It was quite the tease!
As it turned out, the trade never materialized, but the first round did have winners and losers. Here are a few of them....
4. Jadeveon Clowney's knee With the 16th pick, the Texans took Wake Forest cornerback Kevin Johnson, who general manager Rick Smith said was easily the best corner on the Texans' board. I'm fine with the pick, since a) a third corner is basically a starter in today's NFL and b) there's almost no position that I would've been disappointed in them taking as the depth chart has holes and/or big veteran contracts at nearly every position. That said, the most encouraging thing about Johnson's selection might have to do with the position that he doesn't play -- the fact that Kentucky edge rusher Bud Dupree was on the board still, and that the Texans opted not to take him, leads me to believe there is optimism regarding the recovery of Jadeveon Clowney from microfracture knee surgery. So yay, Clowney's knee!
3. Jameis Winston's INstagram account Remember last year, when Johnny Manziel kept his nose clean for a whole three months after the college season ended, and we all thought he had learned from his mistakes? And then like two seconds after he got drafted by the Browns, he made that ridiculous money hand sign, and two hours later he was drinking out of a champagne bottle the size of a wastebasket? Remember that? Well, here's Jameis Winston's version of that....
A photo posted by Jameis Winston (@jaboowins3) on
The Jameis Winston Era is going to be awesome.
2. Bruce Irvin on Twitter It sounds like the Seattle Seahawks will not be picking up the fifth year option on outside linebacker and former first round pick Bruce Irvin. In fact, it is rumored that he could be on his way to Atlanta in a trade. Naturally, on draft night, this was a relevant topic, so Mel Kiper, Jr. weighed in on Irvin. Irvin was not a fan of his name being in Kiper's mouth....
Shut yo hating ass up Mel kiper— Bruce Irvin (@BIrvin_WVU11) May 1, 2015
@MelKiperESPN u a clown go paint ur face— Bruce Irvin (@BIrvin_WVU11) May 1, 2015
While he was at it, Irvin dished some out to Ross Tucker as well....
U hoe too RT @RossTuckerNFL: People keep comparing Beasley to Bruce Irvin. Is that supposed to be good?— Bruce Irvin (@BIrvin_WVU11) May 1, 2015
Generally speaking, when an NFL player calls an analyst and former player a "hoe," it's going to find its way into a blog post here.
1. Shane Ray A month ago, Missouri edge rusher Shane Ray was thought to be a top ten, maybe even a top five talent. The rumors of a foot issue possibly requiring surgery started to roll his draft stock downhill, and then a weed bust this week sent it careening. Some thought he might even fall into the second day of the draft at some point. Naturally, though, one of the good teams saw the value in Ray, and so it was that the Denver Broncos traded up to pick 23 to select Ray, who will now learn from Von Miller and Demarcus Ware, and smoke weed legally pretty much anytime he wants to in Colorado.
4. Guys named Zach (or Zac) As the Titans were on the clock early in the draft, and the ESPN crew was pontificating on all of the moving parts affected by the pick, they casually mentioned that Mettenberger would be requesting a trade. Later in the evening, when the Rams took Todd Gurley, we learned that one of the incumbent backs in St. Louis (and not even the good one -- that'd be Tre Mason) wanted to be traded...
#Rams RB Zac Stacy, after the selection of RB Todd Gurley, plans to ask the team for his release or to be traded, per league source.— Adam Caplan (@caplannfl) May 1, 2015
So is that where we are? Where shitty second year quarterbacks and backup running backs are demanding to be traded? Control your people, Tennessee and St. Louis.
2. Thomas Davis In case you don't know who Davis is, he's a linebacker in Carolina and he won the Walter Payton Man of the Year award last season for his work in the Charlotte community. He's good people. As part of the grand prize for winning the award, though, Davis traveled to Chicago to announce his team's first round pick. Kind of a cool honor, until you have to announce that your team just picked a player at your position. Then it gets awkward. Davis had to announce the selection of Washington linebacker Shaq Thompson, which is basically like having your ex-spouse preside over your next wedding.
1. La'El Collins Players fall in the draft every year for a variety of reasons, but I have to admit, Collins is the first player I can recall ever seeing his draft stock plummet because he couldn't get his name cleared of murder charges before the first round began. As of Friday morning, Collins is still in Baton Rouge presumably cooperating with authorities on the investigation into the murder of his ex-girlfriend. Collins attempted to have his name removed from this draft and enter the supplemental draft this summer...
A league source said he doesn't believe the #NFL will allow La'El Collins to enter the supplemental draft. "He's eligible for this draft."— Charles Robinson (@CharlesRobinson) April 30, 2015
No dice. We now wait and see just how much a possible murder rap affects draft stock, as it's my belief some team will spend a compensatory mid- to late-round pick on him for sheer value's sake.