^
Keep Houston Press Free
4

Nine Things Not to Be Thankful For

I understand that yesterday was Thanksgiving, and that we're supposed to be all thankful and everything. But seriously, did any of you watch those football games? How can a person be thankful after being subjected to nearly 11 hours of blow-out football? So in that spirit, I've put together a list of nine things for which I'm not thankful, along with one item for which I am thankful.

9. The very special holiday-themed network NFL pregame shows.

8. No 30 Rock, and The Office was a repeat.

7. The possibility that the awfully mediocre Notre Dame Fighting Irish might qualify for a bowl game, and that they might qualify for a bowl game here in Houston.

6. The moron who feels that the tradition of a Detroit Lions football game on Thanksgiving Day must be forever observed.

5. The Chron's John McClain treating me like an idiot with an ill-fated attempt to convince me that Texans' defensive back Jacques Reeves is actually a good football player.

4. Turducken. Seriously, Turducken? Is it that hard to choose just one bird for dinner?

3. My tax dollars going to Citibank so that Citibank can stick its name on the New York Mets new stadium.

2. Any and all idiots defending that moron who thinks the tradition of a Detroit Lions football game on Thanksgiving Day must be forever observed.

I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

1. Seriously, did you watch any of those so-called football games yesterday?

And the one thing for which I'm truly thankful.

The Planet of the Apes movies marathon on the Fox Movie Channel, especially since the Marky Mark remake was not one of the movies on the schedule.

- John Royal

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.