If only...

No Choice

I thought the premise of

Choose Your Own Play

was genius, but it turned out I would've rather


a different play. I wrote a preview for the event in

last week's issue

and interviewed creators Greg Hundemer and Tim Wood. They told me the 400-page script consisted of more than 200 choices, 89 possible endings and 130 characters, but the only number I thought of was 100 — as in, 100 percent bullshit. You see, the play was in the style of those books you read as a kid. An audience poll was taken to see what choice would be made next. However, here's where things got fishy. You'd think the poll would be taken in this way:

All those who want choice A, clap or raise your hand (you choose). Now, all those who want choice B clap/raise your hand.

But no, Wood, who served as MC, told the audience to just shout their answers all at once and he would see which one he heard.

W? T? F?

Now, there wasn't a huge audience there for the night, but there was a good number of people and I couldn't tell what any of them were saying during the shouting. So, I'm calling Hundemer and Wood out for false advertising.

For all we know, Wood could have been choosing the choice the actors had practiced and going with that. Plus, there were only like thee or four choices in each of the three threads. I'm no math wiz, but if there are a total of five performances with each featuring three sets of choices that comes out to about 70 choices total. To make thing worse, none of the characters discussed in the interview — Domestic Abuse Abraham Lincoln, a band of maniacs holding a bus hostage until Mad About You was back on the air and killer dolphins — were ever featured in the play and I didn't see how they could have been. Each play did feature reoccurring characters like your best friend (one actor plays "You"), your girlfriend and a token hot girl that tried to make you cheat on your girlfriend, but that's not exciting.

I'm not saying the play was bad, I'm saying it was disappointing. So, Hundemer and Wood, here is my challenge, should you choose to, well, choose it. I'll be attending your performance this weekend and I want to feel like my vote and everyone else's in the audience matters. -- Dusti Rhodes

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