NO SHORT/OLD CHICKS! America's Next Top Model Hits Town September 12

On September 12, the casting team of the CW's America's Next Top Model will be hitting H-Town to destroy the fragile self-images psyches of women all over the area. The makers of the hit modeling show are having an open casting call for would-be Marissa Miller's and Naomi Campbell's from our fair city.

But if you are less than 5' 7", it's best you keep your ass at home. The show is looking for only tall women and more than likely the more diminutive of you will have pig's blood poured on you if you try to bust the hatch to the auditions. Another caveat is that only women between the ages of 18 and 27 will be eligible. So all you grandmas pushing 30 can stay home and knit or something.

Reality show auditions always bring out freaks and kooks it seems. No doubt the line here in Houston will be heavy on strippers and exotic dancers looking for that next big break that will take them out of the BYOB strip club and onto the runways of Milan. There is a big difference between "supermodel" hot and "lingerie model off Telephone Road" hot after all. Hopefully the ranks of Houston's hot chicks will be able to represent the city well and finally we can do away with the erstwhile "fattest city" title once and for all.

But if you are a statuesque beauty and you think you have what it takes to make Tyra Banks bestow on you the coveted "fierce" title, then by all means come on down to the Hilton Houston Post Oak on September 12 at 10 a.m. with one headshot, a shot of yourself in a bathing suit, and a clothed full-length picture. So that probably rules out all you burka-rocking babes out there.

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