Oh My God, How Did I Not Know Gwyneth Paltrow Has A Stupid Website?

I am such a Johnny-come-lately to this party, I fear. But then again, perhaps it is for the best that I did not realize any sooner that Gwyneth Paltrow has what has to be the most self-indulgent, ridiculous website ever, and it's named -- for some reason -- Goop (with the tagline "Nourish the Inner Aspect").

Gwynnie has been on my shit list since she won that Oscar for Shakespeare in Love a few years back and did that "Oh me?" affected crying bit while gripping her statuette. She's always struck me as one of those New York City privileged types (which she is) -- someone who doesn't know what Real America is all about, yet sees fit to lecture all of us about organic fruit and why we should eat it. (Man, if I don't watch it, I'm going to start sounding like Richard Nixon talking about the Silent Majority.)

ANYway, Ms. Paltrow seems to believe she is an expert at, well, life, and her Goopy website is divided up into such categories as "Make" and "Go" and "Be" and "See." She uses words and phrases like "duality" and "spiritual disciplines within different religions" and "When I was ten years old, my father and I took a trip to Paris, leaving my younger brother and mother in London where she was filming a movie." (Yes, I can so relate.)

In addition to recommending her favorite restaurants in Barcelona and London, she talks about completing a full-body cleanse that involves sauna, massage, and organic foods (sure, I have the time and money), and suggests I read her favorite books, Jane Eyre and Crime and Punishment. (Guess what, Gwyneth, I went to high school, too!)  

Gads...not to sound overly proletariat, but this sort of dribble from someone who has never had to pinch her pennies or squeeze a pimple is really not interesting to me. I loved the Huffington Post's Meredith Blake's assertion that 95 percent of those signing up to read the Goop newsletter are probably doing it to get a good chuckle at Ms. Paltrow's expense.   (Maybe the other five percent were drunk.)

Either way, I can tell you that I will now be making Goop part of my daily website check-in list. After all, next month I will be jetting off to Milan with a suitcase stocked full of Bronte novels and my all-organic cotton wardrobe, and I need Gwynnie to suggest a few good places to eat.

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