Our New License Plates: We Demand A Recount, Dammit

The e-voting is over and the results are in, and the state of Texas now has a new license plate.

We're wondering if people who have it in for our great state stuffed the virtual ballot box, because the winner, with over 455,000 votes out of 1.1 million cast, is this POS:

While the new Texas driver's licenses are all about surreal visions of urban Texas, the license plate goes rural to the extreme in picturing Texas's empty quarter way out west.

While we're wondering what percentage of Texans has ever seen the Davis Mountains -- TX-Dot's designated symbol of the Lone Star State -- Hair Balls wouldn't mind this plate so much if it was just a picture of those crags and the tall Texas sky. But noooooo, they couldn't let well enough alone, and scribbled in that red and blue mess in the corner, apparently in crayon. And so despite its high-tech provenance -- it is the first digitally produced, full-color plate in Texas history -- the end result has a dated look, a sort of vague Flashdance-y, leg warmers, Max Headroom jamming out on the Walkman vibe. (Web conspiracy theory: The state made the new plates so shitty people will be glad to pony up extra bucks for vanity designs.)

While the new design is an improvement on the cowboy singing to the Space Shuttle plate, we still would like an e-recount.

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John Nova Lomax
Contact: John Nova Lomax