An "inter-racial, inter-denominational" coalition of Houston-area pastors is sounding the alarm that Houston women will soon be facing a barrage of penises in their public restrooms.
The culprit, of course, is Mayor Annise Parker, who they say they just knew would do this kind of thing, and didn't take long doing it.
Parker issued an executive order last week that she said simply stated what has been the policy for a while now -- no discrimination "based on sexual orientation, a person's gender identity and gender expression."
The sharp-eyed, if not open-minded, pastors at the Houston Area Pastor Council. Executive director Dave Welch has sent out an announcement headlined 'Houston Mayor Launches Attack on Decency -- Houston clergy stand together in defense of womens protection and family values."
How are women harmed by Parker's order? HAPC has the answer.
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Forcing women in particular using city facilities to be subjected to cross-dressing men invading their privacy is beyond the pale and offensive to every standard of decency, said Pastor Steve Riggle, senior pastor of Grace Community church and an Executive Committee member of HAPC.
Welch says they expected this kind of thing from Parker, and were not taken in by her smooth election talk, because after all she is a lesbian, and thus apparently the spawn of Beelzebub.
"We are appalled but not surprised that this mayor has so early in her administration proven that we were right in asserting before the election that her sexual preference is central to her public policy," Welch says. "Her reprehensible actions to open womens restrooms to men make our case and expose her pre-election denials as fraudulent."
Our take-away from all this: Any of you guys out there with a fetish for watching women use the bathroom, come to Houston, slap on a wig or some nice pumps and you're good to go. Piss on a crucifix while you're at it. And be sure to sport your "Annise for Mayor!" button.