When I watched the full video seen in the screen capture image above, I thought two things. First, I thought, "Wow, that is a brazen commission of an alleged crime I am witnessing on the Internet. How...brazen!" Secondly, I thought, "Every cop show on television lies to me!" Because, look at that image. You think with some magic software, some nerdy -- most likely Asian -- tech with glasses and a lab coat on CSI or Bones or Person of Interest could pull a face or a license plate or even the fact that the figures in the image are human and not some human-alien hybrid from that crappy, grainy thing? They can't.
Oh, and the crime lab doesn't get DNA back in 45 minutes or have these giant Plexiglas monitors all over the room they can project things onto simply by waving a hand like David Copperfield.
Anyway, what local authorities do know is that a string of pawn shop robberies they believe are connected have landed thieves a shit ton of weapons.
According to media reports, detectives with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives are investigating as many as eight after-hours burglaries they believe to be the work of the same criminals. The robberies netted the bad guys 274 guns, 131 of them from a single location in the 12000 block of Veterans Memorial Drive in north Houston. Seriously, 131 from one pawn shop?
Detectives say the bandits are also taking electronics and jewelry when they can because, well, why the hell not? If you are already being pursued by a federal agency for stealing weapons, how much more jail time could you possibly get for an outdated laptop, a drill with no bits and some cubic zirconias?
The authorities are offering a reward, so if you know anything about these crooks or have some superpower that allows you to discern a face in a video that is only slightly less distorted than the Zapruder film, give Crime Stoppers a call at 713-222-TIPS.
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