Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water....a piranha has been found in Lake Woodlands.
The good news: It's only "a cousin" to the piranha. The better news: This is "a vegetarian" type of piranha.
Still, sophisticated scientific research has proven just what can happen:
Ultimate Woodlands reports that fishermen on the lake reported catching a pacu.
And then, just like the mayor in Jaws, they sought to downplay any concerns, quoting a so-called "expert" who we are supposed to believe is named Brannon Meinkowsky.
"Pacu is in the piranha family, but it's more of a vegetarian eater," Meinkowsky says. "Probably what happened is that it was in somebody's aquarium, and the fish got too big, and rather than kill it they thought it would be a good idea to let the fish go in the lake."
Even as he desperately sought to make the problem disappear in the eyes of tourists, "Meinkowsky" couldn't prevent himself from letting slip an even more startling fact: Pacus had also been seen in Lake Conroe.
So it seems there are three possible conclusions:
a) No one should enter Montgomery County lakes without expecting to deal with countless large schools of piranha; b) Someone has a vendetta against all vegetables that might be in the lakes and is releasing killer machines to wipe them out; c) There's nothing to worry about.