Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water....a piranha has been found in Lake Woodlands.
The good news: It's only "a cousin" to the piranha. The better news: This is "a vegetarian" type of piranha.
Still, sophisticated scientific research has proven just what can happen:
Ultimate Woodlands reports that fishermen on the lake reported catching a pacu.
And then, just like the mayor in Jaws, they sought to downplay any concerns, quoting a so-called "expert" who we are supposed to believe is named Brannon Meinkowsky.
"Pacu is in the piranha family, but it's more of a vegetarian eater," Meinkowsky says. "Probably what happened is that it was in somebody's aquarium, and the fish got too big, and rather than kill it they thought it would be a good idea to let the fish go in the lake."
Even as he desperately sought to make the problem disappear in the eyes of tourists, "Meinkowsky" couldn't prevent himself from letting slip an even more startling fact: Pacus had also been seen in Lake Conroe.
So it seems there are three possible conclusions:
a) No one should enter Montgomery County lakes without expecting to deal with countless large schools of piranha; b) Someone has a vendetta against all vegetables that might be in the lakes and is releasing killer machines to wipe them out; c) There's nothing to worry about.
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.