There aren't many things that college football fans can universally agree on, but one immutable truth unequivocally unifies all of us -- everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, hates Arizona State
for now head football coach Todd Graham.
That's because Graham's act leaves scorched earth and jilted players in his wake everywhere that he coaches. Rice fans know this well, as he came here in 2006 preaching "family" and "loyalty," and promptly left for the Tulsa head coaching job just one year later. After four years in Tulsa (the equivalent of roughly four decades in "Graham years"), he left to take the Pitt head coaching job in 2011.
There, he arrived once again preaching "family" and "loyalty," and who knows, he may have even punctuated his arrival with a firm handshake, a smile, and a vow that his word is stronger than oak, like Cush's dad in Jerry Maguire. But once again, Bob Sugar came calling, this time in the form of the Arizona State Sun Devils.
On December 13, 2011, less than one year after arriving in Pittsburgh and in the middle of bowl preparations, Graham accepted the Sun Devils' offer. This departure was, however, particularly special. And bitter.
You see, Graham needed to get out to Arizona State so badly to say "YES!" to the Sun Devils that he didn't have time to tell his Pitt players face-to-face that he was leaving, and instead sent a text message to a Pitt staffer to forward to the team:
"I have resigned my position at Pitt in the best interest of my family to pursue the head coaching position at Arizona State," Graham said. "Coaching there has always been a dream of ours and we have family there. The timing of the circumstances have prohibited from telling you this directly. I now am on my way to Tempe to continue those discussions. God Bless. Coach Graham."
Very, very touchy feely message, no? It screams "family" and "loyalty." Well, it contains the word "family," at least. When asked further about leaving, Graham said that his wife had family in the Tempe area and that was why he left for his "dream job." The fucking guy actually had the nerve to call ASU his "dream job," which is like calling Jack in the Box tacos your "dream meal."
Anyway, it's a new era now in Tempe, and yesterday was Pac-12 media day. When Graham's time came to meet with the media, someone in the athletics department at ASU thought it would be a good idea to set up a Twitter hashtag #AskASU for Sun Devil fans to send in questions to the coach. Apparently, they were unaware that Twitter is not an online, invite-only fireside chat. Twitter is thunderdome, and the Pitt fans rightfully came in and hijacked the ever loving shit out of #AskASU.
Pitt fans do not like Todd Graham. They don't like his wandering eye, his lack of a spine, and his hiding behind his wife. And they let him know that yesterday on Twitter. Here's a sampling of some of my favorites:
Coach, can we get a list of places you have family so we can figure out your next coaching job? #AskASU
— Brian. (@SmithBrianA) July 24, 2012
#AskASU Hey Todd, have you been watching the housing market in Fayetville? Seems very reasonable for a big family move there.
— Brian Towle (@btbowling) July 24, 2012
— Lake Rosenberg (@LakeRosenberg) July 24, 2012
What are your thoughts on texting? I think it's pretty neat. #AskASU
— Adam Kramer (@KegsnEggs) July 24, 2012
Did you really tell the Panthers you were just going out for a pack of cigarettes? #askASU
— NDEddieMac (@NDEddieMac) July 24, 2012
Will Todd Graham's statue have to be removed from all 124 D1 schools that he ends up coaching at when he gets caught in a scandal? #AskASU
— Brian Skokowski (@brianski71) July 24, 2012
Coach Graham, i know that you are residing in Arizona right now, but can you tell me what dream properties you have in Florida? #AskASU
— Ben Fangman (@InterferonBeta) July 24, 2012
Where don't you have extended family? #AskASU
— Jasper Wilson (@wilson_jasper) July 24, 2012
Coach, do you have an exit clause in your contract if your dog doesn't like the dry heat in Arizona? #AskASU
— Kyle Thomas (@The_KTC) July 24, 2012
Coach, there's a room with you, Hitler and Jackie Sherrill in it. Pitt fans, given a gun & 2 shots, would cap you twice. Comment? #AskASU
— Tyler Long (@LongoCalrissian) July 24, 2012
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Yesterday, Pitt became my favorite college football team in the state of Pennsylvania. Temple is second. Villanova is third. Penn State is banned from my list for the next four seasons.
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