In the most recent Batman movie trilogy, one of the signature scenes of The Dark Knight Rises is when Bane sets off a slew of bombs throughout the city of Gotham.
Bridges explode, buildings crumble, streets are destroyed, and Gotham's fictitious NFL football team plays in the shortest game in fictitious NFL history when the entire field is blown to smithereens during the opening kickoff, leaving actual Hines Ward (playing a fictitious kickoff returner) as the only player standing, peering out over the edge of a miniature canyon where a field once stood.
In case you didn't know (and as if the color scheme and plethora of real-life Steelers players in the scene weren't a dead giveaway), the producers of that football scene used Pittsburgh's Heinz Field.
The whole thing is an awesome visual, as left behind (thanks to the magic of CGI) are a sea of bodies, carnage, smoke and general plunder.
Now that was a movie.
On Saturday night, the city of Pittsburgh tried to make that scene a reality.
This time, it wasn't under the oppressive thumb of the diabolical Bane. This time, it was under the mellifluous tones emanating from the vocal chords of Luke Bryan. Before we get to the aftermath of Saturday's Bryan concert, understand that for whatever reason, Pittsburgh has a history of destroying their own city when popular country acts come to town.
Last year, it was Kenny Chesney's coming to town, as his concert resulted in dozens of fights and more than 70 arrests. By the way, what is it about Kenny Chesney concerts that makes people so angry?
Riley? Do you know?...
Yeah, me neither, Riley. But it happened last year at Pittsburgh's Chesney show, and it happened again this past weekend at the Bryan concert!
One of Bryan's most recent hits is titled "Drink A Beer," and if the footage from this report by Channel 11 in Pittsburgh is any indication, the citizens of the city with three rivers took Bryan's advice to heart.
Again and again and again....
Okay, here are my observations on a video that is really just a story on Pittsburgh's collective inability to hold its liquor. Luke Bryan just happens to be playing in the background:
1. I like that the reporter on site at Heinz Field (named Joe Holden) chose to go with a flannel shirt and jeans. When out in the wild, it's best to try to blend in with the animals. If he had gone with normal reporter garb, the country drunks would have swallowed him whole.
2. "It is gonna be some time before this place is straightened out." Um, Holden, chill out. It was the aftermath of a concert, not a terrorist attack. Holy drama, dude makes it sound like Obama needs to fire up Air Force One to thank the first responders in person for their heroism. I'm pretty sure massive amounts of garbage in a parking lot (even to the inflated levels that inconsiderate rednecks can accrue) aren't anything new at, y'know, AN NFL STADIUM.
3. Fewer at this concert -- teeth or sleeves? Go.
4. I'm glad they got the thoughts of Dalton Dominytus, which is honestly the perfect name for a new mid card WWE wrestler with a "drinking in the parking lot at Luke Bryan concerts" gimmick.
5. Also, thoughts from Ted Speeney, a perfect name for the backstage interviewer on Monday Night RAW getting the thoughts of Dalton Dominytus.
6. The city of Pittsburgh handed out garbage bags for the tailgate parties at a Saturday afternoon/evening country music festival (Bryan had multiple opening acts, I guess), which is a little like handing each participant in a pie-eating contest a Kleenex.
7. The dude at 1:33 mark. No words. Well, one word. Legend.
8. The MVP of the tailgate parties? The roof of the truck that's holding up the dude on the left at the 1:47 mark.
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9. Does it make me racist to think they jumped the gun on the "Julie Truong" graphic at the 1:53 mark and that it was meant for the cute young Asian woman, not the surly white chick in shades who grumbled "Thirty minutes....THIRTY minutes..." about the rester rooms?
I shall close my thoughts on this video by merely invoking two titles from Luke Bryan's cadre of hit singles:
That's My Kind of Night. Play It Again.