Thanksgiving is weird. I understand the concept of wanting to show gratitude for the good things in our lives, and that preparing a family meal continues a tradition (allegedly) dating back to colonial times, but when did the "family meal" became an excuse to stuff ourselves until we have to loosen our belts a couple notches? Is it a way to celebrate how far we've come since those hungry early years at Plymouth? Or have we just turned into a society incapable of denying ourselves everything we feel we deserve, bankruptcy and morbid obesity be damned?
And how do the Detroit Lions figure into this?
This Thanksgiving, when you find yourself embarking upon that tryptophan-induced slide into extreme gorging, perhaps a glance at these clips will help you save some room for dessert.
5. "The Great Tri-County Pie Eat" -- Stand By Me (1986)
One of the advantages of growing up in an age where drinking contests and keg parties were commonplace is I have now become immune to the vomitorious effects of smelling someone else's puke. Thanks, large state university!
4. "The Autumn Years" -- Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (1983)
MoL isn't bad, exactly, it's just several comedy strata below Life of Brian and Holy Grail. And while watching a fat guy explode may seem gratuitous, it's still funnier than anything Adam Sandler has done since 1996.
3. "Gluttony" -- Se7en (1995)
Having watched this and the Mr. Creosote sketch back-to-back, I've come to two conclusions. One: maybe eating yourself to death isn't quite as hilarious as the Pythons would have me believe, and second: how the hell did Mills pass his detective exam?
2. "Food fight!" -- Animal House (1978)
The golf ball is a bit much, but if you come away from this scene feeling anything but sympathy for Bluto, you apparently weren't on one of those goddamned meal plans in college.
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1. "Nobody can eat 50 eggs." -- Cool Hand Luke (1967)
Among the legendary Paul Newman's accomplishments, not to be overshadowed by his many fine film roles and charitable work, is Cool Hand Luke's introduction of the "no vomit" clause to all subsequent contests. The shadowy world of competitive binge eating would never be the same.