You've probably seen it by now, but just in case you haven't, here's the precise moment Governor Rick Perry's campaign went irrevocably into the toilet:
Anyone anticipating a long, drawn-out embarrassment of primaries and caucuses will be disappointed. As will those of us anticipating at least another year's worth of cheap shots and hilarious blog entries fueled by Perry's nigh bottomless well of gaffes and idiocy.
But that's all over now. So here are five movie Commanders-in-Chief that might have been worse than President Perry.
Pres. Allan Richmond (Gene Hackmen) Absolute Power
Aside from Andrew Jackson, I can't think of any other President who personally killed another human being. And at least Jackson did it in a duel and not as a result of rough sex gone wrong.
Pres. Jim Dale (Jack Nicholson) Mars Attacks
I have maintained for years that the aliens, when they land, will not be doe-eyed meat loaves with legs like E.T., but arachnoid horrors from the Probe Nebula. Dale should have listened to Rod Steiger.
Pres. Bennett (Donald Moffat) Clear and Present Danger
"The old Potomac Two-Step." In all honesty, Bennett is probably closer to actual Presidents than anybody else on this list.
Pres. Camacho (Terry Crews) Idiocracy
In retrospect, if all Presidents threatened to kick those who failed to complete objectives in the nuts and send them to prison, our economy might not be in the state it's in today.
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Pres. Richard M. Nixon (Philip Baker Hall) Secret Honor
A speculative portrayal in a lesser-known Robert Altman film, but tops the list because this deranged paranoid was actually our President.