It's been a bizarre few weeks for the Gov. The madness began in late August when Perry said he would "absolutely" consider another run at the presidency, adding that 2016 is a long ways off and "a lot of good things can happen."
Oh, Rick. What "good things" are those? Did you mean the impending Christian revolution you say may sweep the nation? Perry said late last month we're in the midst of "spiritual warfare" and the "Christian warriors" and "Christian soldiers" need to wage an ideological campaign against "President Obama and his cronies." (Let's all take a moment and reflect on what would have occurred if Perry had won the Republican nomination.)
Or did Perry mean the Kindle Single that recently eviscerated his ass? It said a lot of Perry's mistakes sprang from severe sleep deprivation. Perry, apparently, really needs his nighty-nights. Also, Rick's foot hurt. His foot hurt, people. Go easy on the guy, will ya? You try remembering things when you have a boo-boo.
Or perhaps Rick meant something else entirely when he referred to the "good things" that may happen. And that's this: A good thing for Rick Perry would be a bad thing for Mitt Romney. As the rest of the nation takes in Romney's resurgence, and Republicans swell with jubilation, Perry may be one of the few conservatives in the land who isn't happy.
It's this simple: If Mitt Romney wins, Rick Perry is done with presidential politics. Hell, he should be done either way. But that would be underestimating that stubborn streak in Perry. He said he wasn't going to run for an unprecedented third term in 2010, but then, like a boss, he did. And then won. Bam! Suck on that, libs.
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One of the greatest indicators that Perry is thinking of running for the presidency again is that Perry's gunning for another term as governor of Texas in 2014. Granted, he hasn't said this outright, but the requisite conditions -- the mad ching he's got in the bank, the fact that he's utterly unqualified for anything else -- are all extant. Because the fact is, Rick's got no shot at the presidency unless he's the governor of Texas.
Mitt Romney made a go of it without holding elected office, but Rick's no dogged fundraiser like Romney. Perry raised $10.8 million from Texas in 2011 -- more than he got in all the other states combined, according to the Center for Responsive Politics. Rick probably netted all that money because the donors knew that regardless of outcome -- and what an outcome it was! -- they would curry favor with the most powerful elected official in the state. Without the governor's mansion, Rick won't pull all of that money.
Also, if Mitt loses many will say it was because he wasn't "conservative enough." That will be all Rick will need to hear. And by the first day of his fourth-consecutive gubernatorial term we could start hearing rumbles of him taking this thing national.
Hell, someone's got to protect our freedom.