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Relatively Well-Known Younger Sister of Fabricated Pop Star Marries Hot Topic Punk Wannabe in Non Denominational Ceremony in Encino

The relatively well-known younger sister of a fabricated pop star exchanged vows this past Saturday with an upper middle class young man from the posh suburbs of Chicago who has attempted to create a punk rock affectation although the band he fronts is quite slickly produced and well-funded.

The bride, also a fabricated pop singer created by a Svengali father who once publicly commented about the size of his oldest daughter’s breasts, wore a gown by Monique Lhuillier. The groom, who once starred in a video with an orangutan, chose his English bulldog to serve as the couple’s ring bearer.

Those in attendance included the fabricated pop star herself, well-known for a somewhat humorous and certainly planned comment about tuna fish, the boyfriend of the fabricated pop star – an important athlete – and the fabricated pop star’s former assistant, who brought along her boyfriend, the bald black guy from “Scrubs” who was also in “Clueless.” Also in attendance was Nicole Richie.

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It is not known whether or not the bride, who famously lip-synced on live television and continues to deny an obvious rhinoplasty, was as virginal as her older sister claimed to be on her own wedding day. Rumors surrounding a pregnancy seem to suggest otherwise. The older sister’s first marriage to a second-tier boy band singer now hosting reality television shows ended in divorce.

The groom, a bassist whose photograph litters angst-ridden middle-school girls’ bedrooms everywhere, was quoted in People magazine as saying, “The truth is, it’s crazy to be able to kiss your best friend. It’s just a really awesome thing.”

It is not known where the couple plan to honeymoon, but they will certainly continue to reside in La La Land. – Jennifer Mathieu

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