Methodist Hospital has put out a list of warnings for what to do to stay healthy during the Super Bowl.
Don't drink and drive is one, of course.
Also: People, please remember to pee.
"During most sporting events people will get up and use the restroom during the commercials and not have any problem," said Dr. Jeff Kalina, associate medical director of emergency medicine at Methodist. "However, most of the time the commercials are the best part of the Super Bowl, so we have seen people who have to come in and have a catheter put in to relieve themselves."
Super Bowl TV ads: Annoying and dangerous.
Methodist says "people who drink too much and fail to get up and go to the bathroom can also develop a problem called urinary retention, a condition where the bladder gets so full that the muscles are not strong enough to generate a stream."
If there's anything that could make a Giants loss worse, it would be ending up in the ER with a catheter up your cock.
Non-peeing is not the only thing to look out for: "Super Bowl game day usually brings on a rise in drunken driving accidents and stomach ailments because of the mixture of alcohol and junk food," Kalina says.
So stay safe, kids. And for God's sake, pee.
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