Now on to the butt of many Chicago jokes...Rex Grossman. June 12th 2009 is a day that should go down in Chicago history, the day Rex Grossman officially is not our problem anymore. On Friday the 12th of June in a move that would baffle even Al Davis, the Houston Texans signed QB Rex Grossman to compete for the backup role to Matt Schaub.
Ouch. But the oft-criticized Grossman will have a long way to go if he wants to make it into the ranks of the Top Five Texans Quarterbacks Ever.
5. Tony Banks
In his career, he managed to lose starting jobs to Trent Dilfer and Quincy Carter. To repeat: He lost a starting job to Quincy Carter. That's like losing a starting job to Ryan Leaf. In the Arena Football League. Banks's highlight moment with the Texans: Replacing an injured David Carr in the Bush Bowl, a game the Texans had to lose to get the Number One draft pick. Banks came through magnificently, tossing an interception returned for a TD.
An incredible steal by the Texans in the 2004 Draft. Despite setting an NCAA record for passing yards and generating almost 6,000 yards in total offense, NFL teams picked 247other players in front of him before the Texans made their masterful move. Some said Symons was simply a product of Texas Tech's pinball-offense system; in this case some were right. He sat out his rookie season with an injury, and was cut in camp the next year. But he threw no interceptions as a Texan and never fumbled the ball, so that puts him in the franchise's Ring of Quarterback Glory.
3. Matt Schaub
The current savior of the Texans. You want proof that you can't trust Wikipedia? Look no further than Schaub's page, where his bio chart -- under the category "Career Highlights and Awards" -- says "No notable achievements." Ha!! Apparently Wikipedia doesn't count "Fastest Dropping Out Of The Playoffs," when Schaub helped the Texans to an 0-4 start in 2008 that effectively ended their season before it began.
2. Sage Rosenfels
The Age of Sage was regrettably short in Houston, but it will be forever remembered for one magic moment. That magic moment unhappily contributed to a crushing loss, but it was pretty magical for the Indianapolis Colts. Rosenfels had the Texans up by 17 with eight minutes left, but he wasn't done with his day's work yet. Holding on to a 10-point lead with four minutes to go, Rosenfels threw a pick and fumbled twice: one was a highlight-reel spin through the air when, ummm, he really should have just taken a safe slide and held on the to ball. Rosenfels is with the Vikings now; we advise Minnesota fans to never leave a game because they think it's in the bag.
1. David Carr
Ah, the glory days of the Texans' most-famous quarterback. As we noted when giving Carr a Turkey of the Year award, the Houston Chronicle's coverage of Carr's first training camp included a "highlight" and a "lowlight" of the QB's work each day. Here's a sampling:
July 26 -- "Highlight: Displaying his mobility by getting outside the pocket and throwing a laser to Alvin Black, who hauled it in for a touchdown. Memo: Carr is much more mobile and athletic than advertised.
"Lowlight: We'll take a rain check."
July 24 -- "Highlight: Threw a ball about 40 or 50 yards in the air and landed it in the waiting arms of Jermaine Lewis...It offered a glimpse of what can happen when Carr's arm meets Lewis's speed.
"Lowlight: The final horn. Carr was so sharp Tuesday, the worst thing that happened was practice ending."
July 28 -- "Highlight: Pick a play, just about any play. Carr continues to amaze sideline observers with his ability to throw into tight spaces. If he plays the way he practices, the Texans have a very special player on their hands."
August 15 -- "Highlight: Every day, Carr seems to make a throw more spectacular that the spectacular throw of the previous day...
"Lowlight: Having to answer questions about the [Sports Illustrated] cover jinx after appearing on the cover of the magazine this week."
Yeah -- how'd all that work out?