Ricardo Luna: Tries to Pay for Lap Dance with Crack; Assaults Cops on Way to Jail (Allegedly)

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Ricardo Luna had to wonder what this world is coming to. Not only did the stripper he attempted to pay with crack cocaine refuse that form of payment, but she also turned him in to management at Austin's XTC Men's Club. And now, in the wee hours of Sunday morning, his night was coming to a premature end, as a bouncer was leading his reportedly "highly intoxicated" ass out of da club. I mean, damn, the club has drugs in its very name. You'd think he would have gotten X-tra special service.

So, according to KXAN, Luna allegedly put up a fight, starting with the bouncer, whom he reportedly berated with racial slurs and kicked in the leg. Still, the bouncer had managed to steer Luna out into the parking lot, where he was met by Travis County deputies. As they were making ready to arrest him for public intoxication, Luna allegedly refused to cooperate. The cops reportedly told him to shut up and get in the car. Luna again refused, and continued doing so until he was threatened with a Tasing.

And so he got in the back seat, but then the words of Dylan Thomas evidently cut through the fog clouding his booze- and testosterone-addled mind, for he allegedly decided to refuse to go gently to that good drunk-tank.

An arrest affidavit reports that Luna attempted to kick the back door open, causing the deputies to pull over and attempt to lash his legs together with a tarp. One of the deputies was reportedly kicked three times in the chest for his trouble. Meanwhile, another deputy was holding down Luna's chest in an attempt to prevent Luna from butting him with his head. Using one of the last weapons at his disposal, Luna then is alleged to have spat a mixture of blood and saliva on another deputy, cackling maniacally all the while.

At last Luna was secured to the deputies' satisfaction. As they drove him to jail, Luna repeatedly bashed his head against the grate separating the front seat and the back. Perhaps he found something about this soothing, for he was asleep when he arrived at central booking.

He has been charged with two felonies: retaliation and resisting arrest. What happened to the crack remains a mystery, but Luna so far is not charged with possession.

While this alleged offense is not without certain humorous elements, other Luna misdeeds are not funny at all. In 2009 he was convicted of assault/bodily injury of a child. In that incident, he reportedly came home drunk and demanded that his two-year-old daughter lie down with him. When the child refused, he reportedly bit her on the cheek. Her mother intervened then and she and Luna started arguing, causing the girl to cry, whereupon Luna kicked the toddler in the face. "She's a fucking crybaby, that's all," he reportedly told the mother. "You spoil her."

According to online Department of Public Safety records, he is still on parole for that offense.

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