Rice Football Goes All Gangsta With Shotgun, Weed Arrests

Four Rice football players have been arrested in a single week earlier this month, KPRC reports.

Two were arrested for having a shotgun on campus and two for marijuana possession.

Who do they think they are, UT?

Shotguns, weed -- how much more gangsta can you get? To be sure, one of the players did preserve the Rice-ness of it all by also getting nabbed for stealing....a bike.

That's how they roll on South Main.

Coming to grips with the idea that Rice football has become an outlaw program that's a serious Fulmer Cup contender is indeed difficult.

In Rice's defense, it should be noted that the crimes the players were arrested for may soon be obsolete, come the success of two political movements: a) the decriminalization of pot, and b) Allowing guns on campus.

It must also be noted that none of the players committed the heinous offense of violating Rice's new alcohol policy, which seems to consist of "Hey kids, at least tone it down a little."

Still, we fully expect to soon see Rice football players arrested for sipping syrup, robbing convenience stores, and cruising in their burnt-orange BMWs with cartel-sized bales of weed in the trunk.

Whether this will result in winning football or not is difficult to tell. But even if it only means UT levels of success, it will be an improvement.

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Richard Connelly
Contact: Richard Connelly