Rick Perry: Five Campaign Posters He Should Consider

The Texas gubernatorial race plods along, both sides flinging charges of corruption, no debates, not a whole lot of doubt about the outcome.

Rick Perry, it seems, will be re-elected even though no one really likes the guy.

Perry needs to stir up some excitement, and you don't do that by just strolling along the border looking somber with a bunch of law-enforcement types.

Here are five posters the Perry campaign needs to get working on now.

5. The Deadliest Governor
We all know about Perry's harrowing life and death showdown with a coyote, where only a laser-pointed pistol kept Lt. Governor David Dewhurst from taking over.

4. The Great Debater (with conditions)
Do you think Lincoln debated Douglass without first seeing his income-tax returns?

Perfectly normal pre-conditions for a debate, sir

3. It's a Wonderful Life

Go ahead, promise what all your supporters want. Start small -- just a day -- but who says you can't dream big?

2. This isn't heaven, it's Texas
Should we have put machine guns on the wall? After much debate, we decided it was too much. Plus we don't know if they make machine gun with laser sights.

This isn't heaven, and it's nor boring old Iowa either

1. The prophecies foretold

Things don't get much more ominous than this.

Head for the lifeboats!!!

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