Rick Perry dropped out of the presidential race today, finally coming to grips with a reality most had accepted on his behalf four months ago.
In doing so, he proved conclusively an important point: Fast food is better for you than jogging. At least when it comes to decision-making.
After faring abysmally in Iowa, Perry famously came back to Texas to ponder his future. While jogging, he said, he decided to stay in the race. He even issued the goofy photo to the upper right of his Road to Damascus moment.
Smart decision? Not to put too fine a point on it, but hells the fuck no.
On the other hand, it's being reported he made his decision to get out of the race at a Wendy's.
That's Wendy's, home of the 970-calorie, 63-grams-of-fat Baconator Double:
Two 1/4 lb. patties topped with juicy Applewood Smoked Bacon in between a premium buttered, toasted bun. Topped off with mayo, ketchup, and American cheese. Now that's not just a sandwich, but a tasty treat.
Which decision was the better one? The choice seems clear.
The only moral we can take from this is: Give up running and start scarfing down Baconator Doubles. Your IQ will vastly improve.
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.